How Human Design came into my Life
I was invited into Human Design a few years ago by someone who guessed I was a Generator from what he knew of me. He ran my chart, which showed I was one of a new Type of human that started appearing here in 1781 – a Projector. He then said emphatically “You NEED to know this stuff!” I ordered the Definitive Book of Human Design, got a reading, and my deconditioning journey began.
Since discovering Human Design, I have listened to and watched thousands of hours material, mainly from the Jovian Archive Media Library in the free as well as paid areas of the site. I also learned through many coaching sessions and took classes from certified analysts like Kumud Kabir, Darshana Matthews, Genoa Bliven, Lasita Shalev, Becky Markley and Carol Zimmerman. For over a year, the nightstand next to my bed has been home to all my Human Design books. I refer to them daily while encountering transits and people in my awareness.
I just re-took the foundation classes with Bethi Black at an in-person Human Design Intensive. This training blew me away in terms of my understanding of how I really am designed to function. I loved the convenience of the online foundation classes; now I was more comfortable with the terminology. Adding the in-aura interaction into my process allowed for a breakthrough in my understanding.
Some Human Design material I have reviewed several times over to absorb deeper meaning. Human Design uses the English language creatively to interpret the energy present in a graphical representation synthesizing major exoteric and esoteric sciences in order to understand the forces that make us who we are. Despite my years of study, after this week’s Intensive I feel like I just woke up to my design and am hearing so many things as if for the very first time. I’m in awe as I observe my body’s movements and have a visceral feeling of the practical applications that the Human Design System has in my life.
I know I can remember now to follow my Projector strategy of waiting. In order to bypass the mind’s conditioning, Projectors wait to be recognized and invited into the big decisions in life. Those critical, life altering decisions of where to live, who to love, what to do for work. I know I can wait now for clarity over time through the emotional wave of my defined solar plexus before moving forward with those big decisions.
In practice, this is a far cry from the old me who would constantly strategize about my future or jump the gun on decisions. Not only would my mind scheme and manipulate, it would initiate big changes spontaneously. The intense feelings I was experiencing in my powerful, mutating solar plexus center, the source of my inner authority, was the one place in my design where I was designed to make decisions. It was the one place that I had been deeply conditioned NOT to trust.
Now I know how to wait. My waiting is interesting; it is active. I am never bored as I watch my life movie.
I am actively waiting.
Waiting for clarity.
Waiting for fulfillment.
Waiting for the perfect timing of movement.
My waiting looks like a more introspective me in conversations. My waiting gives me far more patience when it comes to big decisions. I know to wait – not to try to force anything or figure things out. Putting waiting into practice is much easier said than done, however and I consistently catch my mind as I fall into old patterns of behaving. I know to hold back from jumping in to answer other’s questions without being asked. I know to restrain from doing things without being asked. And I know that I don’t have to do everything that people ask me in order to prove myself. I know these things, but breaking the habits of my “Not-Self” way of being takes time, and I’m not there yet when it comes to the everyday patterns of my life.
The awareness and release from this constant pressure of conditioned behavior is a relief beyond words. That pressure that I have felt all my life to prove that I am capable, that I am worthy, that I am love-able, that I am good enough….
That pressure was slowly but surely killing me.
Can you relate?